It’s one of those evenings, relaxing on the couch, scrolling through social media posts, and watching Netflix simultaneously. It has been a productive day, ticked most of the things off my task list, and I should be feeling pretty good about myself. Happy, fulfilled, and calm. However, my son starts questioning me, my Whatsapp messenger starts buzzing and people just start to get on my last nerve. I am sure you have experienced that feeling that you just need to be by yourself. Some women put it down to menstrual hormones or some other female issue however, men get this feeling too. It’s not just women! Even my 11-year-old son often retreats into his bedroom and decides he no longer wants to talk to me or anyone else for that matter. Human beings sometimes need alone time. Don’t feel guilty for needing time to yourself, and you don’t have to explain yourself either. Just do it!
Alone time is vital for your mental, emotional, and physical health. Too much alone time can be damaging, however, as humans we need human connection but too much of it can lead to emotional overload or human connection burnout. Sadly, we live in a culture that not only normalizes burnout as a way of life but also kinda glorifies it. If you are perpetually busy and exhausted—You. Must. Be. Important! But at what cost? Maybe we need to worry more about being healthy people. Being alone is when some cool stuff happens: Inspiration. Reflection. Insight. Wonder. Clarity. Rest and Restoration. Whatever ambition has you so busy chasing, you’re going to need all this stuff along the way. Plus, the people you care about need you to care about yourself and take care of yourself.
Here are Five Signs You Need Some Alone Time:
1. Your Body is Trying to Get Your Attention
Do you wake up and not feel rested and rejuvenated? Does your body “hit a wall” during the day that sends you to the coffee maker? Do you catch every cold and flu bug that’s going around? Do you collapse into bed like you just finished a marathon?
Your body might be trying to get your attention. It’s trying to tell you that your batteries are low and need recharging. Some time alone doing something restful and reenergizing might be just the ticket. Make sure it’s something you genuinely find soothing and medicinal—not work-related and stress-inducing.
2. Little Things Just Wreck You
Things you normally would take in stride or wouldn’t bother you at all now get an exaggerated response from you. It could be a short delay, a slight change of plans, an annoying freeway driver, or someone’s tone of voice, and you’re fuming or crumbling. You know that’s not you.
You’re fragile. You’ve become so busy and stressed you don’t have the margin or emotional resources left to handle life’s little annoyances. Alone time is anti-fragile time. It strengthens you on the inside. Getting alone in a meaningful, healthy way can give you the focus to regain some perspective, as well as the fortitude to handle bumps along the way.
3. The People in Your Life are Dropping Hints
Learn to put the clues together. That look on your spouse’s face means you snapped at them. That eye-roll from your kid means, “What’s. Up. With. You?” Your friend or co-worker asking, “Are you okay?” or “How have you been lately?” means “Someone has their Cranky Pants on today!” Sometimes we are the last person to recognize how we’ve changed and are not acting like ourselves. Learn to pick up on the hints before the hints become arguments, outbursts, or resentment. You don’t want to hurt the people you love even a little bit, but when you’re tired and stressed out, or feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, you tend to take it out on the people closest to you. We all do.
Don’t be afraid to tell the people in your life you need a little alone time. It’s mature and self-aware to say, “Sorry I’ve been a little extra lately. I need to go for a walk and clear my head.” Go to a movie by yourself or send yourself to your room and watch one. Take a book to a coffee shop. Go for that run. Reassure the family that it’s not them, it’s you. (They know.)
4. You’re Bored, Not Interested in Anything, and Just Feel… Blah
You’ve been rushing through your hectic schedule so fast for so long, that you don’t remember what to do with some downtime. You’re so burned out, you just don’t feel like doing anything—even the things you normally enjoy. You are listless and lethargic. You aren’t up or down—you’re just there.
Sometimes you need some unproductive, unfocused vegging-out alone time. Grab your favorite snack and watch some reruns of your favorite show. Go to a park or out on your deck and just sit. Soak up some sun. To the untrained eye, you look like you’re doing nothing, and that’s exactly what you need. This afternoon’s plan is not to have plans. Feel what it feels like to have no deadlines and no demands on your time. Give yourself permission to clock out for a little while. Feel that? Feels good.
5. Sometimes, You Just Know
Sometimes you do. Listen to that little voice. Quit ignoring it. Stop thinking you don’t really need some alone time or don’t deserve it or it’s a sign of weakness or that you will disappoint someone if you take it. The world won’t stop spinning if you don’t get to everything on your to-do list. Give yourself a break. The reality is, that alone time helps bring clarity, creativity, and energy to every part of your life. Your life goals won’t suffer if you take some time for yourself; your life goals will suffer if you don’t.
Article Credit: https://firstthings.org/5-signs-you-need-some-alone-time/
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