How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Human beings have been comparing themselves to one another since the beginning of time. Sometimes these comparisons can be helpful. They can give you a blueprint for improvement and inspire you to change. Other times, they can be a means to pick yourself apart and see everything that you think is wrong with yourself. Here are practical toolkits that would help to stop comparing yourself to others and recognize the beauty and value of your own uniqueness!

1. Name Your Inner Critic

Naming something gives it less power. Give your inner critic — that critical voice inside that points out all of your perceived inadequacies — a name. Giving the voice a name will help you recognize when it speaks. Start a conversation with your inner critic. Whatever you name that critical voice, be sure it prevents you from identifying with your thoughts or placing too much weight on them. Think of yourself as the filter, deciding which thoughts to hold on to and which ones to let go. It’s so important to separate yourself from negative, self-defeating thoughts.

You can’t choose your thoughts, but you can work towards creating a healthy distance between your thoughts and yourself. When you hear a self-critical statement pop up in your brain — that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or worthy — acknowledge it.

2. Be Your Own Best Friend

 “How would you comfort a friend in a crisis?” When your inner critic gets in the driver’s seat, you need to speak to it with love and understanding. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. By following this rule, you start to understand where some of your insecurities are coming from.

3. Keep a Record of Achievements 

When we compare ourselves to others, we focus on all of their strengths and achievements and ignore our own. It doesn’t matter what it is: If it is something you feel proud of, record it. Soon, you’ll see your accomplishments over the weeks.

4. Practice Self-Care 

Running a hot bath and pouring yourself a glass of wine can be great self-care, but we can take it even further. Self-care can involve honest and continuous introspection. It’s a process of looking inward and seeing what you find. Keep a journal and jot down your thoughts, particularly when you’re in a self-esteem spiral. Once those thoughts were on paper, you have the power to observe them and decide whether or not they were true or just a result of feeling inadequate. Confronting darker feelings can be hard, but looking them straight in the eye will give you the power to begin moving forward.

5. Be Proactive 

Working with these tools is an ongoing practice. It’s important to regularly look inward to confront uncomfortable emotions. Breaking free from the comparison is not a linear journey. There are bumps in the road, moments of insecurity, and doubt.

Steps to Track Your Thoughts

If you want to track your thoughts, all you’ll need is a notebook and pen. You can also track your thoughts on a spreadsheet if you’re the techy type. You’ll want to record several factors to make the most of the exercise:

  1. What’s the time of day?
  2. What triggered the thought? An experience, location, behavior, or person?
  3. How did the thought make you feel? Rate the intensity from 1–5.
  4. How can you reframe the thought? Come up with a kinder thought and write it down.

That’s it! You can do this as often as you’d like throughout the day. Writing it down gives the new thought power, so don’t skip this step until you’re seasoned. With enough practice, you’ll train yourself to automatically reframe negative thoughts without blinking.

Final Words

There will always be someone prettier, more talented, intelligent, bubbly, or outgoing. The trick is knowing the unique value of what you bring to the table. Instead of thinking about a negative thought and taking it as fact, pause and decide whether you choose to validate that thought. This is seriously empowering because it means that you’re in charge of your own reality. Our mind is a great tool that can be extremely useful. It helps us make important decisions, contains the seeds of creativity, and allows us to engage in countless complex tasks on an everyday basis.

When you commit to the practice of tracking thoughts, you’ll see a huge lift in your mood and confidence. Your behavior is more in line with who you want to be, and it gives you a sense of autonomy. This simple technique gives you a choice in how to feel, think, be, and act in the world.

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Published by SULV Foundation

Build and Repeat is our Mission and Purpose, we strive to make the world a better place while creating inter-generational wealth.

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