Your path is unique and different and special. Just like you! So checking in with your intuitive knowledge about who you are and what you really desire is essential to let go of others’ opinions. Because then you’ll always have a connection with your truth! When you give too much credence to other people’s opinions you’re basically telling your true self to be quiet. Your self-esteem is tied to the yo-yo of what other people think of you. When other people approve of you and your decisions? You feel great! When other people disapprove of you? You feel like crap. You end up becoming a puppet to what other people want. Running around trying to please everyone with every decision. Never really tuning into your own needs. This people-pleasing turns into you squashing your own desires. And contorting and molding yourself to fit the idea of what other people think you “should” be. You stop showing your whole personality. You stop feeling like you can be yourself. And you stop trusting your own judgment because you assume that other people know better!
This cascades into essentially living a shell of a life. Because when other people’s opinions are more important than your own you live life on their terms. Not yours. And yet, you’re the one who will be left with regret on your deathbed for not having lived a life truly authentic to who you are. They (and their opinions of you) will be long gone. And you’ll wonder why you gave them so much power over you. You’ll have lived a life that’s NOT what you wanted or needed or truly desired. You’ll only offer people a shell of what you think they’ll like – never giving your friends, romantic partners, and customers an opportunity to truly know you and know how amazing you are. They’ll be in a relationship with a shell – not with the real you. And you’ll cheat yourself out of real intimacy and success because of it. You will NEVER have what you truly want in life unless you learn to shut out other people’s opinions. Until you stop giving a crap about what they think and really tune into your desires, your voice, your truth! But don’t worry. Here’s what to do about it!
1. Take Responsibility
Realize that 9 times out of 10, when you’re worried about what other people think – it’s a projection. You’re projecting your own fears and your own internalized self-judgment onto other people. You’re pinning on them what you yourself think. So when we take responsibility for letting go of other people’s judgments we empower ourselves to stop being harsh and judgmental with ourselves too. Because ultimately they go hand-in-hand.
2. Let Go of Embarrassment
So many of us stop ourselves from living our best lives because we fear embarrassment. We fear what other people might think of us if we wear that bikini but don’t have a perfect body. We fear what the other women might say or think if we wear the dress with the bodaciously low neckline. We wonder how other people will perceive us if we speak up in the PTA meeting. Stop it. Right now. Embarrassment is really no big deal. The only reason that embarrassment feels terrible is that you project your feelings onto other people.
3. Stop Comparison
Put on your blinders. Stop looking at what everyone else is doing. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Seriously, everyone’s journey is different. So no one’s life will look the same. Often when we get lost in worrying about what everyone else thinks it’s because we’re existing in a state of perpetual comparison. We look at what everyone else is doing and think that unless we’re doing similarly we failed. Totally not true. When we drop the comparison and just hold ourselves accountable for meeting the goals we set up in front of us then we stop feeling like we’re running a race on a treadmill that won’t stop and let us catch our breath. Seriously, how exhausting! Comparison is something that will drive you batty. And it’s entirely self-imposed torture. Let that shit go now!
4. Increase Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
Self-esteem is just that – esteem of the self. It’s only something that we can give to ourselves. We can only grant ourselves self-esteem. No one else can give it to us. No one else can fill our cup with self-esteem. No one else can say “here you go, here’s a bag of self-worth”. That’s not how it works. It has to come from the self. And this is part of the issue that so many people have with over-valuing other people’s opinions. When you overvalue what other people think of you it’s because you’re looking for someone else to fill your cup. You’re looking for someone else to give you self-esteem.
So one of the most successful ways to stop caring so much about what other people think is to start feeling really really great about yourself outside of what other people think of you. That way you no longer look externally to fill your cup and feel really good about yourself. You essentially disconnect yourself from that yo-yo where other people’s opinions cause you to feel great or terrible about yourself because at the end of the day you feel fabulous about yourself regardless of what they think!
5. Set Boundaries
So what do you do when you have people in your world who suck the positive mojo right out of you? You set boundaries – that’s what! If people are tearing you down and making you feel like you’re less than then tell them “Unless you can speak respectfully to me about this then I’m exiting the conversation”. It seriously can be as easy as that. Set boundaries with those people who have been squashing you under their judgments and opinions and it will instantly help you feel better about yourself!
6. Remind Yourself Whose Life This Is
Ultimately this is YOUR life. You’re the one who will wake up at the end of it and either feel that you’ve lived a life that was fulfilling and energizing. Or did you live a life that you regretted? One of the biggest regrets of the dying is: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” The only person’s opinion that really matters is your own. I’ll say that again THE ONLY PERSON’S OPINION THAT MATTERS IS YOUR OWN.
Yup, that’s right. You’re the one who has to be happy and satisfied with how you lived your life. You are the one who is stuck with the results of your life. So you’re the one who gets to decide.
7. Make The Decision
This brings us to my next point. One of the key points about not caring about what other people think is to actually make the decision to stop caring. It’s a simple concept, but it’s not easy. By making a decision you’re making a commitment to yourself and your happiness. You’re making a commitment to living your life based on your desires and what would make you happy. You’re making a commitment to yourself. And that is POWERFUL shit.
8. Forget About Failure
I say this over and over again because it’s worth repeating. Failure is nothing to fear. A lot of times we fear what other people think because we fear what they’ll think if we fail. What will they think if I open my own business and then I’m not successful? What would my fellow entrepreneurs think if they knew I wasn’t making any money yet? What would they think? But really, there is no such thing as failure. There’s just learning!
9. Check In With Your Intuition
What do you feel is right for you? What is your true path? What type of woman do you really want to be? Tuning into your intuition is an essential piece of letting go of other people’s opinions. So often, especially in entrepreneurship, we follow the pack. We do what other people tell us should work because we crave that approval from other people. Or we crave that validation that we’re doing it “right”. But what’s right for her may not be right for you. Your path is unique and different and special. Just like you! So checking in with your intuitive knowledge about who you are and what you really desire is essential to let go of others’ opinions. Because then you’ll always have a connection with your truth!