Learning to rely on yourself is an important strength to have. There are often times where we cannot reach out to a friend or family member. We must be able to help get ourselves through the difficult moment, without alcohol or drug use. Of course, support systems are incredibly necessary. However, you have to be able to rely on yourself. Continue reading for more information about the importance of self-reliance and how you can learn it!
Making Your Own Choices
Learning to make your own choices is one area of self-reliance that you must be able to do. Making your own choices can look like something simple like deciding where to go for dinner, or something more complex like deciding to say no to the offer of alcohol or drugs from a friend because you are focusing on your sobriety.
Taking control of your situation is important. You must learn to make your own choices and not be influenced by those around you. You have your best interest in mind, not everyone else does.
Learning to take responsibility is another necessary area of self-reliance. If you make a mistake, it’s important to take responsibility for your actions. This is especially true if you hurt someone’s feelings. If you have self-reliance, you’re able to truly apologize and say, “I messed up. That’s on me.” If you can’t accept and take responsibility for your actions, you aren’t as self-reliant as you think.
Being able to rely on yourself looks like a strong sense of independence. If you’re able to be okay with alone time and you strive to do things on your own, you probably have a strong sense of self-reliance. Being independent is a great skill to have because you won’t always be able to reach out to your support system and get an answer right away. This skill can help you if you are struggling to stay sober when you are alone.
You Don’t Have to Have Permission from Others
You don’t have to have permission from others to do something you want or need. You have the power to give yourself permission. As long as you are not violating anyone else, you don’t need permission to do something that is a healthy and safe option for you.
You can stand strong on your own and do something because you think it’s right. Being satisfied and having a strong sense of self-esteem is also another part of self-reliance. Give yourself permission to feel satisfied with yourself and your surroundings.
Your Recovery Is Your Own
Own your recovery! Your future is yours and yours alone, so own your recovery. Allow yourself to make decisions that will benefit your recovery in the short and long-term. You get to choose how to move forward, so make sure you are thinking through your decisions. Healthy self-reliance is all about balance, so don’t make a rash decision that’s fueled by emotions. Think your decisions through with a level head. You’ve got this!
How to Be More Self-Reliant
1. Grant yourself permission
Granting yourself permission to be more self-reliant looks like you don’t wait around for others to give you permission to do something. If you think it will benefit you and your recovery, go for it! Give yourself permission!
2. Take control
If you wait around for others to take control, you may be waiting forever. This is why you must take control of your situation. Set up goals that can help you thrive in your recovery. Take control of your situation today!
3. Find a balance
Finding a balance can be difficult because recovery is unpredictable. Spending a good amount of time alone is healthy, but so is spending time with others. When you’re alone, try to reflect on the choices you’ve made and see if you are acting in a way that is self-reliant. If not, how can you be more self-reliant? When you are spending time with others, find a balance between self-reliance and letting others be self-reliant, too!
4. Expect challenges
Expect that you are going to face challenges in your recovery. We know recovery from trauma and substance use isn’t easy. Expect that you are going to be challenged. Be ready for them. Take it a step further and challenge your expectations. High expectations can often set you up for a letdown, so let go of some of your unrealistic expectations. You can learn a lot when you let go of things and go with the flow. Don’t think, however, that the waters will always be calm. Expect that you are going to face some choppy waters. That’s a part of recovery!
5. Look up to someone
If you’re struggling with being more self-reliant, try to look up to someone you trust that is also working on practicing self-reliance. A friend or family member may be working on some of the same things you are working on. So, try to bounce ideas off of each other. Look up to them and they may look up to you in different ways. Let others inspire you!